Traffic Court Rookie

"philipilihp" (philiphilip) 01/16/2016 at 11:43 • Filed to: Court date, traffic court

1

35

I have to go to traffic court in Virginia on Monday for the first time. Any tips or help is appreciated!

Last September my front license plate lost a mounting screw, and when I noticed it, I took it off, intending to find a replacement screw and put it back. Then I half liked the way it looked and half kept forgetting to hang the plate back up, but got pulled over for it in October.

I kicked myself for being stupid, hung the plate back up, and a few weeks later went online to pay the fine. However, after going through the system, the entry said “undetermined fine” or something. When I called the courthouse information line, the lady said it was not a prepayable offense. Seems weird for something seemingly small like a missing front plate, but okay.

So what can I expect at court, in your vast collective experience?

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 11:47

17

You’re totally going to jail. Say hi to Patrick George while you’re there.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 11:55

2

A lot of people

Little talking

Paying some stupid fine

-my court experience

$kaycog > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 11:58

3

At least, you weren’t speeding. Good luck!

http://jalopnik.com/never-speed-in…

DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:00

4

Go to Canada, where they don’t extradite traffic offenses, I think. :P

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:02

7

Put the plate on properly, take a picture and print it out, bring it to court with you showing it as fixed. This will go a long way towards smoothing out the process.

X37.9XXS > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:04

1

Depends on your ancestry and politics

Svend > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:06

4

It was nice knowing you bub. We’ll look after your family till you get out.

PS9 > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:10

2

Tips for handling traffic court:

When you meet the first clerk ask, “DummySezWhat?” And in the middle of their response, quickly say ‘Chickenbutt’. Rhyme every single word they say and attach ‘chicken’ to the front of it.

Be sure to wear jeans that are two sizes too big, a white belt costing at least $100 or more, oakleys and an open dress shirt with a wife beater beneath it. Also maintain a ‘scruffy’ look with your facial hair if you can.

After the judge asks you the first question loudly proclaim, ‘Yo YOU COULD SUCK DIS DICK, DATS WHAT’CHU CAN DO!’

As you are carried away to a jail cell for being in contempt of court, Yell at least one of the following; ‘I don’t take no guff from DA MAN!’, ‘666 Y’ALL! ILLUMINATI! SHIT’S GETTIN’ REAL, STUDY IT OUT!’, ‘Y’ALL CAN’T STOP ME EVEN IF YOU STOP ME!’,‘IMMA ORLOVE DA SYSTEM!’,‘THUUUUG LIIIFE!!!!’

Now you’re all set to do your oppo review of the county jail cell! Be sure to ask for a pen and paper before they lock you away for probably at least 30-60 days due to steps 1-4.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:23

5

philipilihp > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 01/16/2016 at 12:24

1

Hahaha as long as it’s not Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison I hope I’m okay!

philipilihp > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. 01/16/2016 at 12:24

0

I was going to take a photo in the courthouse parking lot before I walk in, but a print out might be better I suppose. Or both?

philipilihp > PS9 01/16/2016 at 12:26

0

What if they don’t understand the term “Orlove?"

philipilihp > $kaycog 01/16/2016 at 12:26

0

Haha thanks! Yeah I am happy about that...

philipilihp > X37.9XXS 01/16/2016 at 12:27

1

I suppose I do have that going for me. I’m Dutch, so white with blonde hair. As for the politics, if it gets me out of a fine, I’ll pretend to back Trump for a few hours if I have to.

philipilihp > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 01/16/2016 at 12:28

0

I’m sure mine will be close to that.

$kaycog > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:28

1

Be sure to let us know how it turns out.

philipilihp > $kaycog 01/16/2016 at 12:29

1

Will do! I’m secretly hoping I can charm myself out of a fine.

SteveLehto > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 12:40

1

I have done a podcast/video on this. Free advice from an attorney:

philipilihp > SteveLehto 01/16/2016 at 13:01

0

Sweet! Thanks!

wallaby13 > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 13:04

3

Just show up, clean and in a polo and khaki’s, be polite, and only speak when asked to. That’s about all you can do.

You may or may not want to admit guilt (depends on your state really and the different ways you can plead). Make sure to say you are sorry and rectified the situation. Show a picture with the plate on.

Jobjoris > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 13:25

0

Either Judge Judy or Judge Dredd... Was nice noing you dude. Civil servants working on Saturday, where’s this world going to????

philipilihp > Jobjoris 01/16/2016 at 13:29

1

No, it’s on Monday, but it’s a federal holiday, making it almost more surprising than working on a Saturday.

Jobjoris > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 13:39

1

Ah, too quick of a judgement, better reading needed, excuse me. And good luck on Monday!

Textured Soy Protein > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 13:46

1

I’d take a picture of the front plate back on your car just in case. Often for fix-it tickets like this they’ll let you off if you show you fixed the problem. Tell the judge you put the plate back on, went to pay, but can’t, and you just want to straighten it out.

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > philipilihp 01/16/2016 at 17:35

0

The print lets the judge stay in a warm seat and staple it to paperwork. :)

RangerSmith > philipilihp 01/17/2016 at 02:12

2

I got my very first drivers license in Virginia... and then I moved! Good luck!

vdubyajohn > philipilihp 01/20/2016 at 20:17

0

So, how did it turn out? I didn’t see this in time to comment before your court appearance, but around here, they are very willing to let you plead to a parking ticket or something like that. They just want the money, and don’t really want to *hurt* the offender.
I’ve had a speeding ticket reduced to a seat belt violation, and a illegal left turn into a one way street (the wrong way) reduced to a parking ticket.

philipilihp > vdubyajohn 01/20/2016 at 22:04

0

Funny story how it turned out. I checked the court website Sunday night to check just in case I was able to prepay after all, and lo and behold, I was able to mark it for payment ($126) and actually pay it. And after looking a tad more in detail, I noticed it listed the court date as January 8. So the cop who pulled me over wrote the incorrect court date on the ticket. So it wasn’t a prepay, it was a post-court pay. Ugh. Oh well, I decided to just pay it and move on. Not worth making a big deal about, I think. Like you said, they want my money, and now they have it.

vdubyajohn > philipilihp 01/21/2016 at 12:35

0

woah, $126 isn’t one bit funny.
All jurisdictions are different though, and it’s not a moving violation, which is good. I would have still tried to say it fell off that day and I fixed it that day, here’s a photo.
Also, in NY, you can go to a police station and report it as lost and they give you a little piece of paper to show to cops/courts/whatever. Moot point now, good luck going forward.

philipilihp > vdubyajohn 01/21/2016 at 19:32

0

I tried saying that to the officer but he didn’t buy it... And I clearly couldn’t argue my case because I didn’t have the correct court date... Oh well, what’s done is done.

vdubyajohn > philipilihp 01/21/2016 at 21:34

1

Well, I now get to see if what I told you still holds true. I went through a yellow light this evening on the way to my workout, but the officer who pulled me over had a different opinion of the exact color at the exact moment I went through the intersection. I get to plead my case in March.

philipilihp > vdubyajohn 01/21/2016 at 22:59

0

Oh that sucks!! Is that even something you can prove? Can you call some redlight cameras to the stand? Good luck man!!

vdubyajohn > philipilihp 01/22/2016 at 16:07

1

I have dash cam footage that shows I was already under the light when it turned red.
Unfortunately, it also shows I was speeding, so, I will not be sharing it with the court. Besides, I don’t want to call the cop a liar with technology. Eyesight isn’t as accurate as a piece of video you can look at frame by frame. Plus, I want to stay on the good side of local LEOs.
I like my chances with the court, it’s the same one that reduced my illegal left turn into a one way road to a parking ticket. I would bet good money that it’s going to be reduced to a parking ticket too. I’ll let you know.

philipilihp > vdubyajohn 01/22/2016 at 16:33

1

Good luck my friend! I understand your predicament on the LEO front. Better to stay on good terms.

vdubyajohn > philipilihp 01/22/2016 at 16:45

0

Always!